Episode #1 Claudia Dorey: Envisioning A Whole World

Join Carolyn Botelho as she takes a deep dive with her first Artist on inspiration, perspectives, and what it takes to be truly authentic.  What being true to yourself means; why she likes people not liking her art, and the challenges of finding spaces to show her creativity.

Talking with artistic professionals like Claudia Dorey is a real enlightening process because they have allowed me to see thru the windows into their creative process that can go unnoticed or unrecognized; when they can be  essential. We need to nourish our innovation. These are gifts that need to be inspired regularly. Whether it is writing, drawing, reading, cooking - there is creativity in everything we do.

On the Creatively Speaking Podcast we enjoy the candid conversations with these professionals.  Feeling as if we are looking behind the magic curtain, revelling in this truly personal intimate space, that in itself is another creative arena. A place where we discuss the intricacies and details within the actual practice of inventive proliferation. 

Claudia Dorey Podcast Interview Credits:
Audio Links from https://freemusicarchive.org/
Podcast by Carolyn Botelho

Connect with Claudia Dorey:

https://www.claudiadoreyart.com/

Transcript

Carolyn Botelho  0:06  

Macy Gage from the Tangentalist blog digs up and discusses events and experiences from her own collage history on having a stigmatized condition known as bipolar she relates reflects and refocuses it into infectiously funny anecdotes and amusing stories that will have you in stitches being a roaming artist, a roaming distracted artist that reinvents and reimagined her goals constantly. This podcast takes you down a twisting rabbit hole of icons and avenues of slightly familiar yet offbeat occurrences join her every other week as she delves into her own bizarre memory banks pulling out some eccentric moments that capture the intimacy on the ups and downs of this disorder lived out in her electric days of her rebellious youth. And today, we have a special guest artist from Montreal,

Claudia Dorey  1:02  

Claudia Dorey, I will need to give you a bit of a backstory. She started in the art world and more peculiar way. She found a sense of introspection that gave her an incredible way of sharing her internal aches. Her style is unique as it is, her body's speaking to her, sometimes in ways she doesn't even recognize until later. So let's take a deep dive into her story.

So how exactly did you sort of enter the art world? How did that actually come about? Or was it more of a gradual thing?

So for me, it wasn't gradual at all. It was like, one day to the next. So when I got sick, because I used to devote my life to sports afterwards, it was really like, Okay, well, you don't have any more access to sports. So you're doing nothing right now. And you have nothing you can do. And when I was younger, I did go to an art school, elementary school. So we developed a lot like we did theater dancing painting, we did so many things. So yeah, so for me, that's kind of how it started. But it's something that I did let go after the age of like 11 or 12. And painting wasn't like something I really liked, I was passionate about. And then when I got sick, I kind of reintegrated it to my life. And it used to just be abstract painting. And for me, it was just  like a way to express myself because I just didn't have the words anymore to do it. So it was a lot better for me to just be able to like, have something tangible in front of me and be able to create through it. And that's kind of how it started. Then from there, I started making paintings with a bit more like faces and stuff like that, like the paintings right behind us. I don't know if you can see it. Well, yeah.

Carolyn Botelho  3:03  

This is a painting in her home, Claudia'a home. And it's quite a large one; I'm guessing four by four feet maybe. And it's mostly white with blue, and looks like blue or teal. And looks like a letter almost like a big letter T. But it's also faded in certain areas. And then there's like, it looks like a blue, sort of wash with white in it in the left hand corner, but then there's this faint sort of outline almost, or at least the darker areas of a skull in the top right, sort of quadrant of the painting.

Claudia Dorey  3:53  

Essentially, that was one of my first big paintings I've done. It was a really big canvas. And I was just like, I want to throw everything on it. And there's a skull in the middle of it that I didn't even know, was there until I actually looked at it once it was done. And like in the middle of it, there's just a skull. And I would have never seen it if I just like, I don't know. I feel like my body really does speak to me. And it does create things that sometimes my mind just can't. So that's kind of how I entered the art world and since then it has become a daily thing. If I can't paint I'll draw and it's just like there's there I always have to create somewhat in a day. Yeah, hello. How about yourself?

Carolyn Botelho  4:45  

Oh, I've I've actually stopped in the last few years. I had a bad experience with a gallery and I kind of let that sort of be a cloud over me for too long but this, all that you're sharing with me, has really inspired me to go back to it and not let a terrible experience of a gallery just, you know, cloud my creativity, you know, like, I need to just get back to it. And that's, that's something definitely to look forward to, you know, because I have been missing it, but I just thought no, I'm doing podcasting. now I, you know, I don't have time, but it's like, I can make time and feel the creativity coming through me and, and just not not be restrictive of it as I have been over these last few years. So I really thank you for, for contacting me and getting me back into being an artist because yeah, it's something that I've heard people before in the past, say, 'Oh, I used to be an artist or I used to be creative'. And it's like, no, I just would say to them, no, you're just taking a break right now, you know, because, in a way, I think I guess that's what these last few years have been for me? I mean, I don't know, I just thought well, no, maybe that part of my life is done. Like maybe I just don't have it in me. But I just don't have it in me because I just, I just let that experience. cloud my judgment; and that's ridiculous. Yeah, I shouldn't have let that happen. But well, here we are. And I'm gonna I'm gonna get back to it. And, an I thank you for that.

Claudia Dorey  6:27  

I'm glad if I did have somewhat of an impact. I'm glad

Carolyn Botelho  6:31  

Yeah, it's something positive. Or it's very nice, though. So thank you. Thank you for that.

Claudia Dorey  6:37  

No worries.

Carolyn Botelho  6:38  

It's been good. It's been very good. Yeah, I just kind of let my myself think that way. And it's like, no, you know, I'm just slightly, you've probably heard that saying that people say, you know, like that they're the ones that are stopping themselves, or they're the ones that are creating their limits. And you know, they're the ones that are in the way of their success. And I think that that has been my case, for the longest time. I'm like, I'm stopping myself. And it's like, no, you've shown me just go ahead and just do it. And don't, don't be, you know, thinking things to, you know be my own obstacle. Right. And that's yeah, that's something very, very positive and very, it's just, it's just something to be thankful for. It's yeah, it's it's good to be, to be thinking that way again.

Claudia Dorey  7:39  

Definitely.

Carolyn Botelho  7:41  

And yeah, so So you said you went to school, but it was, it was more just, uh, your your earlier years? Like, it wasn't like, like later. Yeah, cuz I was like, we didn't talk about that and I thought, well, maybe she just didn't, because people don't have to go to school. They can teach themselves. And some, some really great artists have just taught themselves.

Claudia Dorey  8:02  

Yeah. I, I've never been to school, like in arts, I went to elementary school that like was from the age of three to 12 or 11. It's not like very technical or anything like that. So for me, something, I really see my creative process as something that each stroke is part of my creativity. So I don't want to be told how to create something, I want my own imagination to develop and understand how I can attain that goal, and how every single person will be able to achieve that goal differently. And for my creativity, if I go to school, they will tell me the easiest or the most efficient way of doing it. But I don't believe that the most efficient way is the best way. I think there's the best way is how your brain would do it by itself. So I don't want to go to school in art. Because I don't want to have that kind of bias of just doing what I'm told and be like, oh, yeah, that's true. It is more efficient, but I don't necessarily want it to be more efficient. I want it to be true to me and my way of doing it.

Carolyn Botelho  9:29  

So yeah, that that's one thing I noticed in school too, that I went to Ontario College of Art and Design University and that that's how it is with the teachers. They just want to teach you how to paint how they paint. And it's like that's not why I'm paying you hundreds of dollars to just show me the one way that you think I should paint and that happens to be the way you paint, you know that is definitely how it is yeah. The only good part I found about OCAD in some ways was the actual liberal arts  studies like some of  a lot of the art history stuff that I learned, I think that was what was really good. But yeah, when they're showing you just how to be an artist as they are, it's like, okay, you're not really teaching

Claudia Dorey  10:12  

Evolving, either. Because art is like the future, it's so much more than that. So I feel like we need to have that kind of innovative way of painting that if we're just going through school to learn it, well, it'll be a lot harder for us to just kind of find that own path. Because we're gonna have to kind of deconstruct what we were taught. But when you do it by yourself, you kind of just like, create, create it as it goes.

Carolyn Botelho  10:13  

Yeah, you're not limiting yourself, or restricting yourself. Yeah, exactly. And that's one thing I definitely remember with OCAD is like, I didn't want to learn to paint, like certain artists, you know, but to pass the class. That's how you had to do it. Right? So anyway, so how were your experiences with the galleries? Did you find it difficult to get shows in the beginning? Or was it actually your research and being prolific that actually made it easier?

Claudia Dorey  11:22  

Um, so research is definitely something that has helped me so I now follow like certain pages that talk about like that, or calling for artists, stuff like that. So for that aspect, it was easier. But because I didn't study in art school, it is harder to be able to be shown because you're not necessarily taken as seriously. But I tell myself, if a gallery doesn't want to show me because I did not go to school for art, that means it's not the right gallery for me. And that's not that's not for me, because if people understand art the same way as I do, the schooling part would have nothing to do with it. And they wouldn't even ask me. And if they would ask me, it would just be more out of an interest in my story, in my path, and not out of judgment. So I really see, I always see my story. And my like, path is something that is beautiful. And I wouldn't want to change. So if people want me to change it, I just told myself that we're not compatible, and I don't see it as a flaw in my process, and my path. And that's something that has really helped me, because I'm just very determined, and I'm not like, I'm not easily like dragged, I kind of just always have my main focus. And from there, I kind of see who can help me and who wants to help me or who can collaborate with me along the way. Instead of, oh, there's constantly roadblocks, I kind of see it as, oh, I'm just being challenged to really find the my people. And I find having that perspectives really helps me to always stay super optimistic and driven. And that's why I actually believe I'm going to be a successful artist. I say this and I'm like, I'm going to be a successful artist because I want to so badly and I don't let people bring me down.

Carolyn Botelho  13:38  

Yeah, no, and it already seems like you are a successful artist with all that I've seen of, of your website, and all the things that you've been doing, it it seems like you're there already, like I mean, it's good to keep thinking that you need to get there just to keep maybe driving you forward. But I think you're pretty much there. I think you're in, you're in it right now. So you're in the successful artist. sort of category like from from what I've seen of your art and what you're doing. Yeah. Have you had any of your work outside of Quebec, or are you just continuing to just work sort of more in your community, and finding that is more sort of a benefit.

Claudia Dorey  14:32  

So I did a show in Toronto, but I have never like exposed really more than just one evening. So it's mostly Montreal, Quebec. I'm talking with a curator in Milan. So hopefully this summer or this fall, I could go to Milan for my art so that would be really cool. But that's still like, on hold. We just started discussing it. Because I've been in contact with her for a couple of months, they wanted me to do a, a project with them, but it was online. And it was like be digital, and my art is very textured. So for me, it's really important that we see in real life because there's a lot more depth. So I refused, because I was like, You know what I want it to be seen in person. So they contacted me today to tell me that they were doing a show in Milan, and they would like me to participate. So I would have to get canvases that are like the ones you can roll and not all ready framed because they're also way too expensive to bring them to Europe and ship to ship them. Yeah, yeah. So I would probably I'm gonna have to do new paintings for that exhibit. But it's just like small projects out there that I will small No, for me, they're pretty big. Projects like that, like I'm, I'm excited for and I do see it becoming international. But for the time being, I'm mostly focusing on Montreal, because I do want to grow and actually have something sustainable in my city to be an like, afterwards be able to expand that feel. Good foundation allows us to like really gross stead of having like, kind of like little like little scrub says many places. So yeah. Yeah.

Carolyn Botelho  16:35  

They don't want to spread yourself too thin either. Right. Right. Yeah. Except by putting yourself in like multiple cities and throw your throw Canada and then and then the states and then and then tomorrow in Europe, and then it's just yeah, it's like, it's just the I see what you mean that it seems like it's just cheesy. It's like scattering your, your creativity that without keeping it Central, which I understand having it like you said, and in Quebec as sort of like a as like your roots, right? So it's like, yeah, it's just creating that base where you create that network of almost like a fan base, I guess. As well as? Yeah, just creating, creating you're, you're just Yeah, your roots, kind of just establishing that. And that makes that makes total sense. Yeah.

Claudia Dorey  17:33  

Exactly. And I have a one of my friends, I actually met her here. And she lives in Belgium. So she bought one of my priests, and then she brought it to Belgium. So it's just like, little things like that, honestly, it's really having it exposed somewhere. If it's in one person's house in Montreal, for me, it's better because afterwards, if they want to buy a painting, it's a lot cheaper. I don't have to like ship it or anything like that, which would be their costs, but often it adds to a cost. And some people sometimes like they don't necessarily want to pay shipping, it's gonna be 200 or $300. Like it does add up. So having like, just my prints be put in someone's house can just create a discussion. And those discussions are so valuable. It's just like, oh, that's Claudia girl, I know. Or, oh, Claudia. She's in she's a Montreal based artist or stuff like that. So I think also, when somebody's from our city, we're more prone to encouraging them. Yes. Because we're like, oh, well, it's so cool. You know, to meet here, there's not the shipping, it's better for the environment, it's supporting our city. So I think there's a lot of like that sense of, oh, like, I connect to this person automatically, because we come from the same city. And that is also valuable, and I can actually meet these people in person, I think that to be able to understand my art and love my art, you also need to kind of know me, because it can be seen as a bit odd or intriguing or not necessarily, like you don't know, what is going on in my paintings. So sometimes getting that getting to know me helps understand the reflection of the painting and what my process was because even my poems attached are pretty abstract. So like, there's always room for interpretation. So when you get to know me sometimes there is that like, that understanding and that like connection to my human being and my art.

Carolyn Botelho  19:49  

Yeah. It's like another layer of understanding, right? Yeah. That people would understand that people would have with that. Yeah, that makes sense.

Claudia Dorey  19:59  

So I like that aspect of having them in my city just to be able to really connect with them, and then connect with my art even more, because it is, I would say my main form of expression.

Carolyn Botelho  20:14  

And we'll be right back

so where do you find your inspirations? Or is it does it just come to you?

Claudia Dorey  20:29  

Yeah. Honestly, like inspiration I'd say, is mostly. I don't even know how to explain it. It's more so my subconscious speak. What I mean by that is, like the painting behind me. I didn't even know I had painted a skull until I actually looked at it.

Carolyn Botelho  20:54  

Oh, yeah, I see that. Um, yeah. Oh, you can see it. Oh, yeah. Because when I first saw it, I didn't I didn't really see I just saw the blue. Yeah. And then but no, yeah, no, I could see it.

Claudia Dorey  21:04  

Yeah. So it's just stuff like that, that when I look at my painting, sometimes I'm painting and I, I often pay eyes. But it's just that one line of paint, just a little mark, can can just, I can just envision a whole world. And it's not, I don't feel as though it's my mind envisioning it. It's as though my hand is just creating a line. And there's just a face that appears. And it's like, oh, like it's there. And I just need to add two, three lines, and the face just appears. And it's as though all these characters that I create are just parts of my brain, just like flashing and just appearing on a canvas. And from there, each character symbolizes a reality of mine, a concept that I think about. And then once I'm done, I look at the colors, I look at the types of traits and just the the brushwork and then I understand what my body was telling me. So my inspiration is not me looking at a canvas, or looking at a sunset and being like, Oh, wow, I want to paint that. It's really just my mind taking plenty of information on a day to day basis. And me being a product of my environment, just puts them together and creates a painting and something that like my body information my body took up on instead of my mind.

Carolyn Botelho  22:50  

It's like you're, you're channeling your creativity, from your body on to, onto the canvas. Just coming right through without any sort of filtering from the brain to to change it or like you were saying about, yeah, about how going to art school and how they they restrict you. You do not have any of that filtering, either. So it's just, it's just coming right through.

Claudia Dorey  23:17  

Yeah. And I think that my health issues really helped me to create that we would get immense bring Fox, so I just some days, I just could not think like I just couldn't process anything. Just, it was really, really confusing. When I painted, I felt I felt as though I wasn't thinking but I was still in control of what I was doing. And that that was just for me something that I absolutely adored. That's why I fell in love with painting and because as I finally feel like I can express myself, even though I don't feel like my mind is there. And and so yeah, so for me, it was just like, painting became that and it's just now I my creativity is something that has is always led by my body and it's never mind and that's why exactly when it comes to school. I don't want to go to school because every paintbrush, and every lake line to me is vital to my painting.

Carolyn Botelho  24:33  

Yeah. Yeah, that's quite the vehicle that that just has taken over your, your everything it sounds like it's it's, it's quite a good connection that because I think I think I understand what you mean when when I was starting to go to school and now they, they kind of they kind of they they teach that out of you. You know, I think I think that's that's what What actually happens? It's like, oh, geez, there's good and bad to school. But that's yeah, that's one of the one of the parts that I remember now. They can teach that for me. But there must be a way to get that back. I think just just not, not thinking about those. Those things that are restrictive, or how you have to paint or draw certain way, just just let the creativity come through you and just just keep keep at it, right.

Claudia Dorey  25:34  

And I think we're also taught to see art as we want you the most people possible to like, or were to believe, like, oh, I want everyone to love my art. And I want people to look at it. And I want to have positive feedback. Yes. And I, we are taught as humans is everything we do, we want to do it good. And we want to do it well, is we created a concept of what good and well is. I personally do not believe in it. I don't believe there's something that is good or bad, I believe it is whether or not we express ourselves at our most authentic way, and then the repercussions it has on the outside world. But when I paint, I know that I'm expressing myself, and it's only doing good to me. And it's people that won't like my art, it's actually a good thing. I see it as actually a great thing. Yeah, shows that my art is not meant for everyone. And it's not liked by everyone, but they're still connecting to it. If you're looking at my art, and it's you feel uncomfortable or uneasy, there's something about it, maybe the colors, maybe the eyes are feeling stared at it's might be uncomfortable, that there's a connection, there's something that it's making you feel a certain way, and that can allow you to kind of introspect on why is it making me feel uncomfortable or weird. And that's the goal of art, the goal of art is to always have a canvas or have whatever form of art, it is a way to reflect on yourself and introspect on yourself. And, and I think that that's what my goal with my art is, I love when people don't like my art, because I tell myself, okay, how do they connect to it?

Carolyn Botelho  27:44  

They're just not understanding it in the way that you presented it to be like, it's that I see what you mean that yeah, it's not for them. Yeah. And it's just that, that's okay, then it's not for everybody. It's like, it's for the people that understand your connection with your creativity,

Claudia Dorey  28:03  

if they don't connect to it? Well, it's not that they're not connecting to it, they are connected, but just in a more, it's not comfortable for them. And the fact that people will look at it, and maybe they're going to try to understand what is making it uncomfortable for them. And that leads to introspection, and that is so valuable to me, because when I read, I want people to be intrigued and kind of question what is going on, because that's why I do a lot of eyes. Because eyes for me are a reflection of like the soul. And when you're being stared at in public, we're a lot more prone to making sure like, kind of looking at our actions. Like we're taught to do that. And then it's have to deconstruct, obviously, but it's something that a lot of people do. So IP is to remind people that you should be the only person that stares back at you. Without without, like, you don't need people. But sometimes looking at a painting that has many eyes will make you think like, oh, I'm being stared at, like, what am I doing. And it kind of takes it away from the people that are around you and are either looking at you or just doing their own thing and not even paying attention to you, but you still feel like they are just a reminder that your opinion is the only valuable one to like in every spectrum of your life. And

Carolyn Botelho  29:35  

exactly. Well, it's funny because you do the eyeballs, right? And I actually used to do eyeballs too. And with my husband, he said, Why do you do that? You know, that's uncomfortable. People aren't gonna like that. And so, so I stopped doing it. And you're showing me that as long as you have a way of explaining or you know, understanding why you do that, or why it's a central essential piece to your art. work, then who cares what everybody else thinks, you know, it's, you're the creative one, you're the one that's, that's being the artist and putting the work out there for that, that very reason that those, you know, there, you have an understanding of why you do that. And yeah, that there's me again, just like the art school just on teaching everything. But the good parts of being creative that, that yeah, it's, it's, it's all about choice and choosing how you want your creativity to, to express itself and to be something relevant in society where, as you said, the having the eyes staring at you is uncomfortable, but why is it uncomfortable? What is it about each person that makes them uncomfortable? Why Why does that happen? And then, like you said, it's, it's about the introspection of figuring that out that whole process. And yeah, that's. That's really, really good. Yeah, I never thought of it that way. But I just like I said, I was just all about, okay, fine. I'll take it out, you know? Yeah. But no, it shouldn't be about that. It should be about No, this is, this is part of my creative process. I'm doing it because of why ever reason I was doing it. But I think it was I like making people feel uncomfortable. Because I do that with my, my illness or my, my tangental is podcast, which is about being bipolar and having a brain injury, but then, you know, it's like, telling people about that it makes them uncomfortable. And it's like, yeah, there's, yeah, there's just, maybe I just like making people feel uncomfortable. And maybe that's, that's okay, too. It's part of the creative process, right. So, yeah, and

Transcribed by https://otter.ai